humor

I can kill most anything green.  Intentions are great manure.  Whoever coined the phrase, “It’s the thought that counts,” most certainly was a lousy gardener. I live on the Eastern Shore of Virginia, where mild winters and balmy summers allow me to grow a vibrant carpet of dandelions.  I love those perfect yellow flowers with their meaty […]

“If there exists any manner for your writing to be misunderstood, that is the path your reader will assume.” Every reader possesses an inner narcissist, some more active than others, who projects their own bias onto any ill-defined scenario.  As a fiction author, this concept is doubly worthy of consideration.  Which is one reason a […]

Two words wither parents’ hearts like none other.  No, I don’t mean prom night.  That event’s agony is short-lived.  The term of which I speak heaps weeks of unbearable dread onto our shoulders.  That’s right, science fair. Winter is thawing, daffodil stems part soft earth, and ankles push past hems of trousers we bought our kids […]

When I had braces, we never visited an orthodontist.  Such an animal hadn’t yet evolved.  Mine were crafted in an automotive machine shop and so bulky, we were charged by weight. To get my teeth adjusted, I remember pulling up to a gray cinderblock garage where a clanging ding-ding sounded as we drove over a […]

It’s been said the first man to eat an oyster was near death with starvation. Having recently returned from the Pikes Peak or Bust Rodeo, I can state with authority the first man to ride a bull was near cracked with testosterone-induced idiocy… or he was trying to impress a girl. Science shows half the […]